I have always been intrigued by Jim Grays painting titled “The Evils of Gossip”. When I first looked at the painting I did not see the skull. When I did see it, I got it! Gossip and Death, are linked. I also noted that the three “Gossipers” are women. Interesting, however I am sure that gossiping is not gender specific as some may think.
Defining Gossip is also interesting. It seems as though there are many “Opinions” about what gossip is. Some believing that if you are telling the truth it is not gossip. The big question is: What is the Truth?” or are you speaking “…just so you know…”, as many do. Remember the statement by Plato? “A wise man has something to say. A fool just wants to say something.”
Here’s an interesting little account, showing the root source of the word Gossip.
The Old English sibb, meaning “relative” or “kinsman,” came from the adjective sibb, “related by blood” (the ancestor of modern English sibling). Old English godsibb was a person spiritually related to another, specifically by being a sponsor at baptism. (I had a Godfather when I was Baptized.) Today we call such a person a Godparent. Over the centuries, godsibb changed both in form and in meaning. Middle English gossib came to be used for a close friend or crony as well as for a Godparent. From there it was only a short step to the gossip of today, a person is no longer necessarily friend, relative, or sponsor, but someone who is filled with irresistible tidbits of rumor. (I like this in Google. This isn’t all mine.)
Socrates
This is also very interesting. Socrates, the great Greek philosopher, was once stopped by an acquaintance as he passed through the markets.
Friend: “I’ve something important to tell you,” he said. “It’s about your friend.”
Socrates: “That’s very kind of you, but, don’t tell me just yet. I run all information through the Three Filters Test to ascertain if I want to know it.”
Friend: The man looked somewhat puzzled as Socrates continued,
Socrates: “First is the filter of truth.
Socrates: Whatever you want to tell me, have you seen or witnessed it first-hand?”
Friend: “Umm…I actually heard it from someone,” the man said, “and, it is from a trusted source.” “Alright. But that does not pass my first test,” Socrates added, “since you don’t know whether it’s true.”
Socrates: “Second is the filter of goodness.
Socrates: “Is that a good statement you want to make about my friend?”
Friend: “Not really. That’s the reason I wanted—” Socrates interjected, “So, you want to tell me something bad about someone but don’t know if it’s true.” This fails the second test.
Socrates: “The last is the filter of utility.”
Socrates continues, “Your statement about my friend, is that gonna be useful to me?”
Friend: “Not really as such. I just wanted to share” (Here’s the “just so you know” statement) “Well, if the information is not necessarily true, it is not good, and, it is of no use,” It fails all tests.
Socrates concluded, “please, I don’t want to know about it.”
Let me say this, if what you have to say fails any of the tests above, I don’t want to know about it.
The Bible on Gossip
Okay, this is very interesting but, what does the Bible say about Gossip? What is the Real Truth?
“…if thou shalt hear say…then shalt thou inquire, and make search, and ask diligently; and, behold, if it be truth, and the thing certain, that such abominations wrought among you…”
No, this was not Socrates again this is written in Deuteronomy 13:14.
And there is more!
“A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.”(Proverbs 11:13)
“A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.” (Proverbs 16:28)
“The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.” (Proverbs 18:8)
What is Gossip?
If we tell the truth is it still Gossip? Well, does it pass Socrates first test? How do you know it’s the truth? I hope you didn’t get it from the media, internet or Google. If you got it from a friend, did they pass the three tests?
Truth is truth no matter who says it. It may come from the mouth of Jesus, Gandhi, Plato or Socrates. It makes no difference because Truth is an absolute (see by blog on Absolutes).
Gossip is talking about people behind their backs. When we gossip, we are sharing information that isn’t public knowledge and likely isn’t something that a person wants to have shared about themselves.
“Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas.” -often attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt. What a great Lady.
This is the Scripture that I think winds it all up.
“‘Are you still so dull?’ Jesus asked them. ‘Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander (Gossip).’” (Matthew 15:16-19)
And
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander (Gossip), along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:29-32)
These six articles of John’s Wesley’s Covenant are worthy of consideration.
In 1752 a group of men, including John Wesley, who were named Methodist signed a covenant which every man might hang on his study wall. The six articles of the solemn agreement follow.
- That we will not listen or willingly inquire after ill concerning one another.
- That, if we do hear any ill of each other, we will not be forward to believe it.
- That as soon as possible we will communicate what we hear by speaking or writing to the person concerned.
- that until we have done this, we will not write or speak a syllable of it to any other person.
- That neither will we mention it after we have don this, to any other person.
- That we will not make any exception to any of these rules unless we think ourselves absolutely obliged in conference.
Other Quotations about Gossip
- The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them. (Will Rogers)
- So live that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. (Anon)
- It isn’t the people who tell all they know that cause the most of the trouble in this world. It’s the ones who tell more. (Anon)
- One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people. (Anon)
Conclusion
Gossip occurs when you talk about someone else based on ½ truths, hearsay, and rumors. Gossip hurts, even if it is the truth it can hurt dearly. Why engage in any form of speaking about other people something that is not common knowledge?
Beware: The truth is: we’ve all done it and we all deny it. Very sad, indeed.
Enough said.
Thy Words were found, and I did eat them; and Thy Word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by Thy name, O LORD God of hosts. (Jeremiah 15:16)
