Introduction
The theology of intimacy is one of the richest and least understood areas of Christian thought, touching both the human and divine in profound ways.
Being a Christian means that you have a relationship with Jesus Christ, your Savior. Without a continuing and developing relationship, you are not a disciple, and it’s questionable that you are even a Christian. In this relationship, there can be no spiritual selfishness; you will not be living from mountaintop to mountaintop (I have actually heard this preached). However, do not be deceived by “feel-good preaching”; there will be hard times ahead, just as there are in the lives of non-believers. As the scriptures say, “it rains on the just and unjust alike” Matthew 5:45. The one caveat Christians have over others is the power of Holy Spirit who dwells within us. As Christians, we have hope where others do not. Being intimate is a mystery and a power that enables us to overcome all obstacles, allowing us to serve our Christ and our God. To enjoy these things, we must become intimate with our Creator.
Intimacy
In the natural sense, intimacy grows through closeness. It is born of time spent together—of conversation, trust, and mutual understanding. You feel safe in the presence of the one you love. You can speak freely, share openly, and even receive correction without fear or offense, because love covers it all. True intimacy deepens over time; it draws two souls nearer until friendship matures into something sacred, an all-encompassing communion of hearts.
Yet what is true in the natural is infinitely more profound in the spiritual. For the intimacy between man and God is founded not on sight, but on faith. You must know, beyond all doubt, that God exists, that He loves you, and that His will—though often mysterious—is always for your good. This divine intimacy cannot be earned through works or emotion; it is cultivated through absolute trust and wholehearted obedience.
Such union transcends the limits of human affection. It is a spirit-to-Spirit communion, a soul’s embrace with its Creator. From this sacred relationship flows a fellowship that endures every trial and outlasts every storm. No hardship can shake it, no loss can diminish it, no earthly bond can surpass it—for nothing compares to the closeness of a man who walks intimately with his God.
“Say to wisdom, ‘You are my sister,’ and call insight your intimate friend.” Proverbs 7:4 (ESV)
Teaching Intimacy
We can’t make sense of the Word of God apart from God Himself – the One who spoke them. How do you teach someone to be intimate with God? Understanding God’s word with a spiritual ear, not a natural ear, is difficult. We are taught to “shine our light to the world”, but this isn’t true. Our light must be on at all times. It’s not something we must do; it is something we are – a light in a world of darkness. We are taught about offending other people, but what about offending God? Just how real is He to us? The fact remains, the more real He is to us, the more intimate we can be with Him. The two must coincide. Herein, your problem is your need. You do need Him, but how much do you know it?
Suffering
Christians often have the wrong view of Christ’s sufferings. His suffering was not like ours. He suffered according to the will of God, 1 Peter 4:19.
“For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake,” Philippians 1:29 ESV
To clarify, this verse does not mean that He is a partaker in our sufferings; we must be a partaker in His.
But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed 1 Peter 4:13
Here again is the mystery: your problem becomes your need.
Often God will take you through situations that are not designed for you but are designed to make you useful to Him. Simply said, “suffering is not always about you”. If you say “I cannot do that”. You must ask, “Why not?” Our circumstances of life are ordained by God. The things that happen to you, good or bad, do not happen because of chance. They are not unique or unnatural. To the life of a saint, there is no such thing as coincidence or chance. You may not understand them, but you were born to believe not understand. This is called faith.
Have you ever wanted God to speak to you as He spoke to Job? Job was intimate with his Creator. Job’s faith was so profound and His relationship so intimate that God allowed Job to be tested as He did, knowing Job would prevail.
I understand you don’t want to suffer as Job did. I certainly don’t. But, as our life progresses, we do suffer, each in our own way. As life goes on, will we prevail as Job did? To do so, we must make our belief in Him a commitment, identifying with His sufferings, where our relationship and theology become a very personal belief. If Jesus is teaching us how to enter into this personal intimacy, and He is, we must let Him. Whatsoever has happened, is happening, or will happen, we must allow it to be so.
Mountaintops and Valleys
It may be difficult to admit, but we were not made for the mountaintops—we were made for the valleys. I have heard teachers declare that if we are truly walking in tune with Jesus, we should live from mountaintop to mountaintop, untouched by sickness or struggle. I do not know which Bible they are reading, but it is not the one in my hands.
The truth is, God often leads us through valleys because that is where His deepest work is done. The valley is His classroom. It is where faith is tested, where truth is proven, and where character is forged. It is where we learn dependence, obedience, and trust—not in theory, but through experience.
We must learn to be content in every circumstance, for every circumstance has been shaped by His sovereign hand. The valley is not punishment; it is preparation. It is where our problems reveal our true need, and where our need draws us closer to Him.
In the valley, knowledge of God is not simply taught—it is lived. It is pressed into our hearts through hardship, surrender, and perseverance. Only then do we become overcomers.
To walk through the valley with peace, we must walk with intimacy—with Him. Only in closeness to Christ can we understand, receive, and finally accept what the valley gives – grace.
Do not misunderstand me. Mountaintops are there for a reason. The reason is not that it is a resting place, a time to relax, but rather it is a time to observe what God is showing you. We do not live for the glory of God on the mountain top. We live for His glory in the valley. Remember, He is not teaching you to be as much as He is making you be. Your character dictates who you really are. And, again, it is Holy Spirit in you who defines your character. Do you want to build an altar, as Peter did when present on the mount of transfiguration? If all you want to do is preserve that time, that is what spiritual selfishness is all about. It is indeed a special time. We see His glory there, but it is not where we are to live and grow and become intimate. The majority of humankind lives in the valley, and that is where we are called. We can only be useful to God from His point of view. On the mountain top, you can believe anything, but faith and truth are made for the valley.
Paul said, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4: 13). These are great words that inspire us, but look and see what he did. What happened to him? He was persecuted all his Christian life. He was beaten several times and left for dead. Imprisoned many times until finally executed. These were not mountaintop experiences. Paul’s biggest mountain top experience was his conversion on the road to Damascus. It was a humbling, devastating, mind-blowing experience that left him blind. It was his intimacy with his Savior that developed through that experience that enabled him to say, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Our Character
Our character is developed in the valley through our intimate relationship with our Savior. We are not taught this character; it is not imparted to us supernaturally. We must learn to develop it on our own accord, by what we believe. Our intimacy toward our Lord develops as our faith increases and we learn to trust Him more and more each day. Soon, we become less and less aware of the world and troubles that surround us, and see more clearly His design for our lives and how His work through us affects all around us.
Conclusion
When my body or mind is unwell, confusion clouds my thoughts, and I find it difficult to grasp anything spiritual. In those moments, all I long for is relief from the storm, whatever its source; I want it to pass. Yet there are other times, when I lie down to rest and feel the gentle warmth of my bed, my pain diminishes, the tension releases from my body, and the world’s burdens fade away. In that stillness, my thoughts turn toward Him. I sense His nearness, and as I enter His presence, intimacy awakens.
“Dear Lord, this is where I long to be.” For a moment, I am there—close to Him, unguarded, at peace.
It is in joining these two realities—the struggle and the stillness—that we discover the deeper call: to remain intimate with Him at all times, in all places, and through all circumstances. Whether in pain or in peace, may our hearts learn to dwell intimately and continually in His presence.
Enough Said
“Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O Lord, God of hosts.” Jeremiah 15:16 ESV
A Coram Deo Message
Living in the Presence of God
